literature

An Enterprise: The Brony Thanks-To-You Project

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A Short Enterprise: The Brony Thanks-To-You Project; Or, The Pocket-Book Misgivings of an Industrious Assembly.

From the perspective of the Right Honourable Diffuser of Situations Grave.



Pleasing as it is to the court of fine peers, I bid good passing that eyes are directed away from licentious misgivings of communication to a universal act of decency. Forwarding this matter, to the public entity of best intentions, I relay the pending program of diffusion; that I shall, with all good and fair-chosen morals, launch a campaign of acceptance, and it shall be called the Brony Thanks-To-You Project, which will, accordingly, boast production values that should match our representatives, and it shall, without a doubt, be the best possible way that we shall give thanks to those we are enamoured with. Before me I have the proceedings of caveats of scepticism. Let it be known that I shall answer all due concerns with an endearing sense of honesty. As it should be noted:

The Brony Thanks-To-You Project is self-aggrandizing!

Hush, such-a-one! There is little self-aggrandizing about our project! We merely wish to pay tribute to those we love with romantic persuasion by piecing together the ordinary lives of bronies and having them preach accordingly the gospel of ponies. It is selfless; meritocratic only to those who deserve it and engineered our interest. A broad audience, to be certain, will see our altruism and delve deep into the valleys of generosity. Give to charity, I say! Toys-for-Tits!

Why not just give the money that the Brony Thanks-To-You Project cost directly to charity?

It is our hope that the budget of the Brony Thanks-To-You Project shall be the modicum of what we receive in donations from our gifted presentation. A small price to pay, it is, for the return shall be greater than the input. You have to spend money to make money, I say, and my opinion is right, for I am in charge: the Right Honourable Diffuser of Situations Grave.

But why spend money making a commercial that reaffirms what everyone already knows?

Would you tell your partner that you love them only once? Ignorance! Repetition is the true key to indoctrination. Watch the Brony Thanks-To-You Project; we have demonstrated an audience from all ways of life. For children, we have both genders; from women, we have scientists and shirt-wearers; and, for men, we did our best to provide a broad pair of individuals truly representative of the fan-base. That is why we chose two military-garbed men, in full attire serving their patriotic cause. They will fight for your country, and they will conquer your heart. You could argue that having two military bronies is over-saturation; that having one makes the point, and that a second is therefore redundant, but that would be questioning our methods, which is frowned upon.

Why at the end did the girl say, "For kids and bronies alike?" Couldn't it have been, "For kids and adults alike", if this advert truly is for the show-makers and not for the bronies?

I refuse to pass comment at this time.

Admit it. The Brony Thanks-To-You Project was a way for bronies to say, "Look what we accomplished!" and little more.

This is as far from the truth as I can comprehend. Never in all of my many years as a purveyor of all things upright and respectful have I been accused of such ignoble qualities! Fiend! Vagabond! The Brony Thanks-To-You Project is so that the show-makers know that we love their creation; it is to prove to certain corporate behemoths that we are supportive. It is entirely for them. We take no personal gain from it!

What of the bronies I saw boasting that 'they got a commercial to air on TV'?

Spies of the enemy; they are trying to tarnish our good name.

Why didn't you just make a general, less cringe-worthy 'thanks to the Hub' commercial, rather than one specifically aimed at "Friendship is Magic"?

We care not for the Hub; we do not feel the need to think extensively about how TV channels such as the Hub work, nor how they require sustained viewing; we think only of the mentioned show in all of its glory. Thanking the Hub in general would be a horrible misuse of our time: what have they done for us? Indeed, we are selfless; so selfless we are, that we pay tribute only to that which interests us. The Brony Thanks-To-Us Project is the perfect way for us to show the world what we are – I mean, how good "Friendship is Magic" is – and how it is fit for all ages: kids and adults alike! Already, based on the success of our project, we have other projects on the agenda. In my excitement, I shall divulge them to you: The Brony Pat-Yourself-on-the-Back Project; The Brony We-Did-It-Mom Project; The Brony Look-At-Us Project; The Brony Narcissism-For-Newcomers Project; The Brony Dress-Men-In-Military-Gear-And-They-Will-Instantly-Look-More-Trustworthy Project etc.
A Concise Report from The Right Honourable Diffuser of Situations Grave about his little folly, 'The Brony Thanks-To-You Project'.
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zuko4444's avatar
Just...yea I thought the whole "Brony Thank You Fund" thing was pointless. The creators clearly know we're thankful for the show and the Hub; but I guess our community needed to fund a very short commercial to do this and make a huge fucking deal about it. I'm just going to stop before I go on a rant here.