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Brony Advice is both an active collaboration with artists and an advice column, in the simplest of terms: I want you to send me notes if you have any problems, secrets or comments on the pony fandom of any nature. It doesn't matter how embarrassing, offensive or vicious they might be - if you want someone to comment on them in an unbiased way, send them over. Maybe there's something within the fandom that you particularly despise, or perhaps you're feeling sad and need to hear some friendly advice? Whatever the motive, send me a note with your comment or question.
I'll then respond with advice and commentary and post the answers up in future installments. Users will remain anonymous, so you don't need to worry about your feelings and thoughts getting out onto DeviantArt. You may find that some of the things that you've personally been feeling will be addressed.
Feel free to note me if you would like your questions and observations to be answered in an upcoming edition. Every edition will be engaging with three issues. The above three featured today were submitted by anonymous deviants.
Artwork by the ultra-talented *quila111. Go check out their stuff!
Other Work By The Artist:
All relationships of any kind depend on give and take in all aspects, otherwise one side will break and it's usually the side that gives the most. Since you are giving as much as you can and he seems to be interesting in giving of himself to everything but you, then you will be the one to break, and the thing that usually breaks in a relationship is the heart.
Nobody wants to hear that their relationship is dying. But yours is. You don't see it, but it's true.
Love is a funny thing. It keeps us going and makes us try hard to make a relationship work, sometimes to the point of foolishness. It's a good thing, because no two people are a perfect fit, and without love neither side would try to make it work. If the relationship starts to fall apart, neither side would work on it. But on the other side it can keep even the best of us from seeing when we're pursuing a foolish endeavor.
I would suggest confronting him in person and making your feelings known in a clear and concise manner. Think about how you'll say what is bothering you and try to do it calmly. It'll do neither of you any good if you go in guns blazing, or even with loaded guns at all. Plan for the worst, but assume the best. Maybe he just doesn't realize that what he's going is hurting you. If he really cares, he'll make an effort to increase communication between you.
#120 Speaking as someone who tends to go overboard in fandoms (I am working to get a full set of Stormtrooper armor, for one thing), I think I can shed some light on this.
Part of the reason why we get so worked up over it is because we love the show so much. Doing things like wearing costumes, debating, making art and music is our way of expressing how much we love the show and appreciate the creators. We were all genuinely surprised by how good the show is, and some of us were so pleased by it that we fully embraced the fandom.
Some people, like me, tend to get into fandoms so much also because we desire to be part of a group. The reasons can be complicated, but for me they boil down to how little we fit in to the "real world". Few people truly understand us and want to engage with us.
I am an engineering major, a sci-fi geek, and a Christian, three traits that never have been very popular. Christians are often portrayed (rightly so) as overzealous nutjobs, engineers have a reputation for being humorless tech-heads, and sci-fi geeks are seen as anti-social basement-dwellers. That doesn't mean it's true of course, but it does make it hard for people to get to know the real person under the label. The other part of this is that those qualities are very focused, and for people like me who are very knowledgeable in those areas people have a tendency to be intimidated by it, feeling like they don't have anything to add to the conversation.
As a result, we don't have too many people to talk to on a regular basis, so when we run into people that are fans, we celebrate. We start telling jokes, talking about the characters, debating who's best pony, and breaking out our pencils and computers to create art and music, or in extreme cases we don costumes. It's a release from all the pressure to conform to society and keep our heads down.
A lot of people like you though don't need this. They don't care what society thinks and they need no validation from other people other than those who are close to them. I wish I was like that, but I am one of those people I described who does care and who needs a release. I hope you and anyone else who are "mild" fans can understand better our position.
#121 It depends on how you define forcing.
Telling them that they are GOING to watch it and are GOING to enjoy it is wrong. Would you like it if someone older than you told you to watch The Jersey Shore and like it? Of course not.
Does that mean you have no options? Thankfully, no.
What I do in situations like this is ask if they would like to see a good show/movie. They say no, and I ask why not, and they say they don't want to. Then I tell them that it's as good as their program. Sometimes this makes them consider what I'm saying, but other times they don't care. If they don't want to listen, then I leave it alone. Forcing it would have negative consequences, because it would harden their resolve to ignore me. But if they are open to it, you let them watch some of it.
If you want to up the ante, tell them that you'll watch their show with them. It's a small price to pay, but if that's what it takes, then that'll give you the opportunity you need. I once sat through the Twilight movie in order to get a girl to watch Star Wars with me, and it turned out she liked it. I had to put up with some of the most wooden acting I've ever seen, baring the Star Wars prequels ironically enough, but she agreed that Star Wars was one of the best old movies she'd ever seen.
The idea here though is that you must not be pushy. The show will sell itself if you give it the chance, but if you don't give it that chance they won't know, will they?
I've very rapidly embraced the show and it's generally positive message, a message that I consider to have many overlaps with my Communist political views (well, the more admirable parts of that history, anyway. It is an ideal fraught with tragedy and horrific results, and I am critical of that...). I genuinely enjoy the characters and the development they've gone through, and obviously I wish to discuss and share in the love of the show with others as I am commenting here. However, as it is primarily a children's show, I take very sincere issue with the application of Rule 34 to the show. Then again, I am generally abhorrent of THAT particular trend in regards to many shows, stories, and what-have-you anyway. The more disturbing tendencies of the fandom have largely put me off to considering myself a Brony, even though I would not be opposed to being considered as such in most cases. In a way, I guess it is similar to my feelings on the furry fandom: Again, I do have a love of the subject matter and occasionally do artwork in that direction, yet there is a line I will not cross in accepting and indulging my support and admiration for it.
Especially with something that is directly intended for children, there are very clear lines I don't thing should ever have been crossed. Yet, they have been. This is, in my humble opinion, a complete disservice to the intent of the show and it's message. Certainly I would imagine that Lauren Faust never in her wildest dreams imagined such things as "clop fics" and Pony Porn would come about because of her idea. While she is no longer involved with the show she created and helped to share with us all, I cannot imagine she is always amused or proud of some aspects of the fandom that evolved around it.
Something I had touched on in a previous comment that also alarms me, yet is not an exclusive phenomenon, is the varying degrees of escapism some Bronies suffer from. As an "artist" (I always think of it as a more professional term than what I am), I can understand the imagination and creativity that goes into escapist sentiments. However, I cringe at what such thought implies. While I am not a gamer, and I have no love for World of Warcraft, I cannot help but pity the poor souls who "escaped" into it to such a degree that they ultimately killed themselves over it. This concern and pity applies to this fandom too. Especially in this modern era, an era that seems tailor made for escapist thought, I fear that such actions will become more common throughout all fandoms if people "journey down the rabbit hole" too far. As noted, I adore MLP. I'm a twenty eight year old man, and I adore it. But I cannot understand how one could go so far as to become consumed by such a show, no matter how entertaining and wholesome. I didn't understand it with gamers either. Ultimately, the escapism that I see ample evidence of is nearly as disturbing as the "corruption" via Rule 34 or something that, yet again, is meant to be safe for our most impressionable minds.
And this, in my long winded fashion, is why I am so very split on the fandom and where I would place myself within it. I look forward to sharing this new interest in my life with all of you fans, learning from you and having fun with you. Yet I am so damned hesitant to fully say I've completely "joined the herd" due to the herd's lesser and depraved qualities.
As for 119, I wouldn't change a word of your reply. 121 is also a correct response, as it is the luxury of children and especially teenagers to be rebellious and "invincible", something which can very rapidly and cruelly be proven unwise or incorrect. While I have many thoughts on modern society's influence upon our youth, this is likely not the place for that topic. I've perhaps made this post far too long as it is!
Some of them are horrified by the many negative qualities this world has to "offer", and instead seclude themselves to a place where this is either minimized or ignored entirely. You'll find this kind of person in "Brony confessionals" where they'll say that MLP made them into a happier person or will say that they wish they could live in Equestria because it seems preferable to living here.
The next type of person that does this is the recluse, someone who just doesn't like going outside for personal reasons, and is different from the horrified person in that they're perfectly capable of going out and dealing with the world at large, they just like to keep to themselves. Thus, with the resulting surplus of time they use it to indulge in one thing or another. Some of them get into fandoms.
The last major group of these is the imaginator, someone with a very active imagination and lots of spare time to utilize it. Most people that fall under this and not the other two are teenagers and similarly young adults that don't participate in after school activities. They probably have friends at school but do not interact with them once school is over, as well as having parents that will either indulge in or ignore whatever obsession their child gets themselves into.
So yeah, there's probably more people that do this but most of the people that don't fall under those three categories are either in a fourth category I forgot or chemically imbalanced. *shrug*
#120: Strong proof of the fact that "if you're a fan of this, you're a fan of the fandom" is, in fact, this group here. Bronies. I've seen a lot of "I enjoy the show, but this fandom isn't exactly up to par." I mean, there are a ton of other fandoms like that *cough*sonic fans*cough*, but this very one is a good pointer.
#121: Never force a kid to watch a show, they'll just get super pissed at you. Take this from experience of having to watch kids all of my life. I'm only 19... yeah. The most you can do is just say, "Hey, I like this show because I think it's pretty cool! You guys want to watch it a bit with me?" They say "No," it's not gonna happen. Just move onto something else.
We seem to agree on everything, really.
Hold on, let me find something to disagree on... just you wait.
I really like all of them, but it looks like you found something that we disagree on. The Wrong Trousers was my favorite. It was the one I consistently watched the most of, as a small child.
I heard the other phrase called "manly tears" too, but when men shed tears, there's a reason behind it and not some showing how "manly" the person is.