"Cease and Desist, Online Bronies!"
The two words that bronies fear above all,
Making them a target for hunting's sake.
One after another they drop and fall,
Leaving a trail of brony-tears in their wake.
Then two bronies eager to quote the law,
(Threatening dreams of courthouses and bench)
Start their internet search and declare war,
Quoting vacuous facts from where and whence.
The first, with an authoritative eye,
Spreads leg to his foe by building his wall;
Mantles word from an informed alibi;
Clears throat and offers the following drawl:
"Hasbro, play the fair hand;
A year and a half has gone up in smoke!
I wasn't making a profit; I'm victim to the fact!
Perhaps you don't understand?
"Well, I," quoth the brony, "understand copyright law,
Trademarking and legal-shit, and so I spoke:
That we're not in breach of any sort of contract,
To toy with the product we claim to adore.
"You sour relations by protecting yourself
(As a brony I care only for my state of health)
You look out for your interests above all of mine,
And care nothing for the merits of Bronies Online.
"All the while your friend Gameloft fucks me,
By charging extremities of my hard-earned money,
And when I try and bring the world a free-to-play quest,
I'm forced to close it down at your ignorant behest.
"Protecting your property is against my interest,
And so I will hold your insult to my own breast:
You took down my pony game without showing restraint;
So I'll make another, despite your complaint."
Grafted to the first's heavy banter,
(Led out to pasture by his hyperbolic canter)
And gauging his adversary to be ill-advised,
The second brony constructs his reprise:
"Debating law is something I know,
For I took one class, which is more than Hasbro;
The patent is weak, by that you are right,
But to save this discourse from lasting until night:
"Suffice to say that Hasbro are shamed,
I assume they are trying to ruin our throng,
For when I am angry I point the finger of blame,
(Quoting arbitrary laws makes me look strong).
"They are in breach of the Mann Act,
Which proclaims Online to be fair as of '92;
They are making a mockery of the Kenyon Fact,
And the seditious Gameloft are abusing it too."
So said the second
Who was truly a wit,
And a genius lawyer, as well;
At least, he'd have you believe it.
And the bronies made merry that they were correct:
World-class legal departments were therefore dethroned,
And they chided Hasbro for protecting their product;
For My Little Pony cannot be owned.
But brony one, when then searching through comments,
Spotted someone who had stolen his OC!
And he foamed at the mouth and roared with aplomb,
"Get your hooves off of my IP!"
And brony two forgot his legal training,
As a result of hearing this calamity;
He helped brony one by standing tall, saying,
"That is not your intellectual property!
"Remove it at once from your deceitful account,
Or I'll get the administrators to do it for you!
But the irony of this all is lost on me,
So I guess I'll blame Hasbro for that, too."