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December 8, 2012
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"Cease and Desist, Online Bronies!"

The two words that bronies fear above all,
Making them a target for hunting's sake.
One after another they drop and fall,
Leaving a trail of brony-tears in their wake.

Then two bronies eager to quote the law,
(Threatening dreams of courthouses and bench)
Start their internet search and declare war,
Quoting vacuous facts from where and whence.

The first, with an authoritative eye,
Spreads leg to his foe by building his wall;
Mantles word from an informed alibi;
Clears throat and offers the following drawl:

"Hasbro, play the fair hand;
A year and a half has gone up in smoke!
I wasn't making a profit; I'm victim to the fact!
Perhaps you don't understand?

"Well, I," quoth the brony, "understand copyright law,
Trademarking and legal-shit, and so I spoke:
That we're not in breach of any sort of contract,
To toy with the product we claim to adore.

"You sour relations by protecting yourself
(As a brony I care only for my state of health)
You look out for your interests above all of mine,
And care nothing for the merits of Bronies Online.

"All the while your friend Gameloft fucks me,
By charging extremities of my hard-earned money,
And when I try and bring the world a free-to-play quest,
I'm forced to close it down at your ignorant behest.

"Protecting your property is against my interest,
And so I will hold your insult to my own breast:
You took down my pony game without showing restraint;
So I'll make another, despite your complaint."

Grafted to the first's heavy banter,
(Led out to pasture by his hyperbolic canter)
And gauging his adversary to be ill-advised,
The second brony constructs his reprise:

"Debating law is something I know,
For I took one class, which is more than Hasbro;
The patent is weak, by that you are right,
But to save this discourse from lasting until night:

"Suffice to say that Hasbro are shamed,
I assume they are trying to ruin our throng,
For when I am angry I point the finger of blame,
(Quoting arbitrary laws makes me look strong).

"They are in breach of the Mann Act,
Which proclaims Online to be fair as of '92;
They are making a mockery of the Kenyon Fact,
And the seditious Gameloft are abusing it too."

So said the second
Who was truly a wit,
And a genius lawyer, as well;
At least, he'd have you believe it.

And the bronies made merry that they were correct:
World-class legal departments were therefore dethroned,
And they chided Hasbro for protecting their product;
For My Little Pony cannot be owned.

But brony one, when then searching through comments,
Spotted someone who had stolen his OC!
And he foamed at the mouth and roared with aplomb,
"Get your hooves off of my IP!"

And brony two forgot his legal training,
As a result of hearing this calamity;
He helped brony one by standing tall, saying,
"That is not your intellectual property!

"Remove it at once from your deceitful account,
Or I'll get the administrators to do it for you!
But the irony of this all is lost on me,
So I guess I'll blame Hasbro for that, too."
What is this all about, 'eh?

Want more brony satire?

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It has come to my attention that with grave discourse many have seemingly adopted a negative stance towards the recent pony plush-toy range with the custom-cut vagina. I contend that such a plush has every right to exist and that those negatively disposed towards it are failing to see the multitudinous benefits to its existence. Firstly, and with the greatest of importance, may I add, I strongly argue that this plush-toy is no less acceptable than any other erotic image or work of fiction designed with the primary objective of helping a brony to reach a satisfying climax. In fact, I
Typical Brony Leaving the FandomI'm leaving the pony fandom;
I'm done with all the gossiping and the bitching,
The back-stabbing and the gender-switching
Between people who pretend they're something
They're not. [5]

I'm getting out of the fandom;
I'm sick of its porn and its gore,
Its darker side and its desire for more
To join the herd of egotistical pricks
Like them. [10]

I'm tired of this fandom;
I'm bored by endless proverbs and morals,
By the puffed-up glands of internet quarrels
Of who loves and tolerates in greater amounts
And wins. [15]

I've had it with this fandom;
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Towards those who react to every situat
When My Little Pony Meets Horny TeenagersYou remember the My Little Pony from the eighties, don't you? Even if you didn't grow up with it, you most likely know of its existence. Those pudgy plastic collectable figures and the nostalgically bad kid's TV show to accompany them were very much a product of the times, embodying the consumer Zeitgeist of the period. And now we look back on their evanescence with misty eyes, firmly believing that they deserved the 'young-girl' tag that went with the product.

It must largely be the visual appeal of the 2010 re-boot of the franchise, "Friendship is Magic", that has made a whole group of older individuals into fans. Those old, chubby ponies
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:icongreat-lord-dread:
Great-Lord-Dread Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think you may be looking at this a little too black and white. You're, Hasbro has done nothing wrong, they are simply protecting their IP, however it doesn't seem fair to shut down a fan game that isn't even making any money. The dev team had over a year of their lives invested in that, they have a right to be upset. It's complicated to say the least and I don't think it's right to condemn either the bronies or Hasbro in this.
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:iconcuddlepug:
Cuddlepug Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
These aren't necessarily my opinions.
Reply
:icongreat-lord-dread:
Great-Lord-Dread Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really? Interesting.
Reply
:iconbb-k:
BB-K Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, even the most recent entry from ED saying about the Equestria Girls are all nothing but assholes would hate them even WE also NEVER make a single money out from it. :no: And yet still take them down. Bloody idiots!
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:iconlatecustomer:
LateCustomer Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013   Digital Artist
Sometimes I worry that Hasbro will serve Mane6 a 'cease and desist' to their game, Fighting is Magic. Selfishly, because what Mane6 is putting together looks amazing and I want to play their game when it's done. Selflessly because all the blood, sweat and tears that the Mane6 team has put into their game with no expectation of monetary gain. Still, it seems that Hasbro will let them proceed as the game Mane6 is putting together is not in any direct competition with anything Hasbro has, or likely will put out.

[link]
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:iconcuddlepug:
Cuddlepug Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
I think when Hasbro serve up these C&As it's probably because they have to. I certainly don't think they're doing it to spite bronies.
Reply
:iconlatecustomer:
LateCustomer Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013   Digital Artist
Oh, I'm certain they don't do it out of spite, they HAVE to protect their IP. I'm glad Hasbro has been, and continues to be, VERY generous with what they let others do.
Reply
:icondestinydecade:
DestinyDecade Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a really good read yet it also scares me.
Reply
:iconcuddlepug:
Cuddlepug Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
How come?
Reply
:icondestinydecade:
DestinyDecade Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Of what Hasbro can do.
Reply
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